The other day, I woke up with a list of things to accomplish; it wasn’t unlike anyone else or any other day, except that to accomplish my tasks, the functioning of my car was of absolute importance. I had to go to the dump (my fifth or sixth time in just a few days, thank you – I’m getting to be a regular there #friendsinhighplaces), then the post office to pick up a package I hoped was still there, then the grocery store (including ingredients for dinner that evening) and McD’s for the kids’ lunch because it was bound to take that long (with a 20-30 minute drive just to get to town, pretty much anything is at least a two hour idea).
My FIRST problem was assembling the requisite snacks, drinks, and comfort items, which always takes forever, and is such a joyous task that I always look forward to.
Once assembled, I put shoes on the kids and walked them and their bag of stuff out to my car only to discover that their car seats, which my husband had removed in order to fit more junk in the car for HIS run to the dump, hadn’t been replaced. Ugh. I walked the kids back in the house, de-shoed them, and replaced the car seats – first (perhaps because I was overheated, hungry, thirsty, tired, and now a tad grumpy) in the completely wrong positions, and then decided to fix one but leave the other because who the hell cares anyway (my girls like to sit next to each other, so I still need to fix that, but removing and replacing car seats is one of the most mundane, frustrating tasks EVER, so I’m procrastinating).
Once the car seats were back in the car and I was dripping sweat (why even bother showering), I once again got the girls and their bag of crap back in the car, turned it on, and set it to drive. As in FORWARD. But here’s the thing: it didn’t go forward. It drifted ever so slowly DOWN our steep driveway, toward the house. BACKWARD. I freaked.
Side note: I back into our driveway so it’s easier to get out of it.
And: My husband, who’d driven my car most recently, left my car with about ¼ tank of gas remaining.
And: When parked on an uphill, the ¼-full fuel tank of a 2016 Expedition will register as EMPTY, and will NOT start.
And: Fords are (according to the AAA guy) notorious for blowing fuel injectors, so you shouldn’t try to start the car too many times.
And: “Fuel injectors” are real things. He talked about car stuff and my eyes went glossy, so we stopped talking.
Anyway… I hauled the kids and their stupid pile of shtuff out of the stupid car, put on another stupid movie, and called stupid AAA, and by the time he got there, I’d had to feed the kids and put them down for naps, thus MURDERING all the good intentions I had for my morning. I tried SO HARD to be productive, but obviously the world was against me, the gods hate me, and I was damned to a day inside (seeing as how we live in our version of paradise minus a couple of notches, because otherwise why bother ever going on vacation, it wasn’t so much ‘damned,’ but it’s along those lines – we were stuck). It wasn’t a horrible way to spend a day, but it DID teach me a lesson:
Don’t leave my car less than ¼ full when parking it on an incline.
Maybe two lessons:
When you’ve got a full day ahead of you and you’re facing an uphill battle (the incline), make sure to get enough food, water, and rest (gas tank) so that you can do what you need to do instead of sliding backward into your house and have to call AAA or worse – your homeowner’s insurance company. Ain’t nobody got time for that. Just make sure you’re prepared for the day ahead by filling your tank so that you can get over the mountain of tasks ahead of you.
What lessons (easy or difficult) have you learned recently?
What’s your favorite thing to get from McD’s?
Have you ever put a car seat in or taken one out of a car without screaming obscenities?
Do you speak car?
How bad does the world need a sarcasm font?!